Is it OK?

Is it always this hard knowing you can't do anything about stuff happening around you? Is it even OK to feel like that? Is it overthinking? Has she always been thinking like this? Is it because she's too self-conscious"

She was thinking about this at 2:00 am, She didn't know if it was even worth considering this stuff. She has always been bullied for her overweight since She was in school. When they say stuff like this can actually mess up your character development. She doesn't know if it's true but she does know that it affected her character.

She has a problem eating around people, when she walks by a group of people and they laugh, her first thought is "Are they laughing because of my appearance?", "Am I too much?", "Is it that hard looking at me without laughing?". It's definitely not their fault, it's the bullies in my head, no not the ones from school, the ones the school bullies have created in my head by calling me names.

The stories about bullying go on but the mental impact those bullies made would never go. It's really hard that you can't eat when you are in public because people might think "She is already too much, why to eat?". That day she didn't eat anything, went home by walk because she was weak she fell unconscious on the road. She woke up no one would help her, they were looking, well she didn't need them, she dusted off herself and left because she knows expectations hurt.

All this stuff going on in her life made her anxious, she had panic attacks which are not normal because no one should have them, and no one should feel that anxious. It made her think that her family doesn't like her because she is too much, so she talked less to everyone around her. Deep inside she knows that they are family and why would they think like that but her anxiety won over that thought.

No, it is not ok to call people for their flaws.

No, it is not ok to bully someone.

No, it's not okay when a person has panic attacks.

No, it's not okay to scar a person at such a tender age.

No, it's not okay playing with someone's feelings.